il caffè

what day is it? what time is it? when was the last time i showered? three questions I find myself asking a lot these days... why is lack of time a reoccurring theme in my posts?? four months into my master's program and half the time i feel like i'm drowning. at least twice a week i seriously consider fleeing to europe and opening a bakery, which is totally feasible except for the fact that...

a) i have no money.

b) X won't let me.

c) i can't bake.

just kidding about c, i can totally bake. i mean i'm no Antoine Careme, but i do alright. my baklava can take you to heaven and back. don't mean to ring my own bell, but... *ding ding.* and as for b, i'm pretty sure X is right there with me in regards to fleeing all responsibility and going to europe

a is still true. 

oh yea, and there's some craziness that keeps me from physically and mentally being able to do anything else except help people through medicine. my sister thinks we were brainwashed as young children. but still, a bakery sounds nice right about now. 

sorry readers (or should i say, mom) i have nothing really interesting to say. I've disappeared for over a month and when I find time again I'll 

1. sleep

2. shower

3. catch up on tv shows

4. blog

in that order... 

photo by galenfrysinger

cars have mid-life crises too

It's officially begun again, school that is. One week down, and it already feels like forever. I guess because my "summer vacation" was met with with moving and jumping head first into the masters program, that it still feels unreal to have graduated from college and to see my friends starting graduate school... but who am I to question change? It's not like the past seven years have gone anything like what I was even capable of imagining...


I've decided medical school applications are a lot like what I imagine therapy to be - ridiculously expensive and painfully introspective. There's no hiding from your shortcomings or weaknesses when AMCAS summarizes it for you on an eight by eleven digital print-out of the last four years of your life. Also, the insignificance of your life-until-this-point is really put under the spotlight with the, "Please describe, in 5000 characters or less, your life story. Everything. And if it's not too much to ask, try to make it interesting because we have about 48,000 applicants that are cooler than you." Thanks for not beating around the bush, AMCAS. On the other hand, it's kind of interesting to see a timeline of your activities, and realize how collectively this has all brought you to where you are today, which in my case happens to be blogging in front of one very dirty laptop in our two-window, one-bedroom apartment, in a city whose water tastes questionable (am I the only one who thinks this?). Yea, I would probably change some things if I could go back four years ago and tell my naive, annoyingly friendly (still guilty), crybaby self to suck it up and stay on track. But, for the most part I think my experiences, especially the failures, have made me into who I am today - which is obviously, perfect, if you haven't noticed.


On another note, my bad luck is back in full swing. This week, my car had a mid-life crisis. One flat tire on the weekend, followed by a broken thermostat, sticking brake, broken brake light, cracked windshield, and non-functioning air conditioning (which was extra special with the record breaking temperatures at the beginning of the week). After taking care of the essentials, new left front tire, thermostat in place, brake fixed, draining bank account, adding freon and air diagnosed... Wednesday rolls around to greet me on my way to class, at 7:30am, with a completely flat right front tire. So what do I do? Change it out for the spare tire which also happens to be, completely flat. Excellent. AAA came to my rescue, changed the spare out with the original flat tire, filled it with enough air so I could drive to discount tire (aka my new hangout), where the guy informs me - yea, that's a really old tire. Really wish I had been in there earlier that week to find that out and prevent this whole situation.. oh wait, that's right... I was just in here two days ago. Long story shorter, tire(s) fixed, major crises avoided... same day, a piece of metal coating on my door handle decides to come off and slice my finger open. I'm getting a bike.


I'm hoping this means that last Thursday, when I took my test, that I just used up all my luck quota, and that this was compensation...

photo by eGFI

can you hear me down there?

so, I have a second cousin named Aria... yes, similar names. this is very confusing when we are together because my mother calls me Arya a lot, and when I was growing up my name was ridiculously uncommon, so I am not used to hearing someone call my name and it not be for me... I'm actually conditioned to do the opposite, which is respond to anything even remotely close to my name, including but not limited to, airy, ory-on-a, airy-anna, oreo, arial, uh-ree-un-uh. I also respond to the confused look followed by silence, while someone who has never seen my name before looks at a roll sheet, and sometimes I even turn my head when someone says "are we" or "sorry," both which somehow make me think that someone just said "ary." (I just had a flashback to a friend's middle school birthday party... we went to the movies and someone called me airy, then everyone decided to have their own "airy" friend and leave an empty seat next to them... thanks for that, parents.) But I digress... 

so the other day Aria is visiting us, she's eight by the way, and while we are playing she says "wouldn't it be cool if everyone else in the world disappeared except you and you could have anything you wanted" - by the way, thanks Aria, for letting me survive that theoretical disappearance - so at first I'm thinking yea that would be awesome you could just walk in a store and get whatever you wanted, I, personally, imagined myself heading to the electronic section and loading up, but then I really started thinking, well, what would be the point of having an awesome laptop, phone, camera, etc. if there aren't other people around... what would really be the point? let's just assume by some miracle everything still works like normal - like electricity, internet, etc. - you would be getting online to... talk to no one? learn about things that probably have no relevance now because what are you going to do with that information? would you care about what kind of clothes you are wearing or how you look? would you really care to travel to see things? do your accomplishments, such as an educational degree or any type of award really matter? i'm going to go out on a limb and say "no" to all of the above... which basically means that the only thing that matters in life are the relationships you have with people... or for that matter even the relationships you don't have with people that somehow still govern what you value and what you do with your life... wow, this post really went heavy... so on that note, *climbing off soap box,* i'll just leave you with one of my favorite quotes....

"If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours."

                                                                                                                     [Dolly Parton]

[ arya + aria = trouble ]

I'm sorry, did you say something?

apparently not for the last two months! this is why I have never been successful at keeping journals or diaries of any sort... I can't tell you how many 5-page-used notebooks of mine that I find saying "so this time I'm really going to write..." and then I never do again... oh gosh, isn't that the worst... finding old embarrassing journals? or remembering any embarrassing moment in general! I get that "punch-myself-in-the-stomach-repeatedly " feeling... like why am I so embarrassing?! why did you have to do/say/act like that?! even when I'm watching movies and the character does something completely ridiculous it physically hurts me... my sister and I both sit in the corner cringing at the fictional embarrassment, and we can often be found screaming at the screen "STOP!! WHY is she doing that?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH GOSH, SO EMBARRASSINGGG... STOPPP!!" or something along those lines... this post is essentially a rant just to say hey, i'm back... 

for now...

where did the time go

so we've finally moved... everything in the past few weeks has seemed like a blur, and i can't say that i'll be sad to see this month finally end! i've been so busy looking forward that i almost stumble on the days as they go by... so much so that it hadn't really hit me until just now that i am graduating in two days - forget that graduate school orientation is tomorrow and that directly after i will commence the seven hour journey back to tiger land - four years of undergraduate will be over in less than 48 hours. seriously, where did the time go? i remember just yesterday moving into the freshmen dorm and meeting lara, my roommate, and celebrating my "fifth" real birthday (yes, poor leap year baby) with my best friend of eight, now ten, years... i could have sworn i was just on a 13 hour time difference phone call with my mother... and i can almost taste the acai and cachorro quente shared with friends near the "pontao." yet, here i am sitting in our, (that would be my other half of 1 year 5 months and myself), one bedroom apartment, soaking up the sun that is creeping through our only living room window, and wondering where the time went...

MIA

Height: 5'9
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Time since disappearance: 4 days 19 hours
Last seen in the student union with a tall latte, some textbooks, and 5 hours of sleep...

image by ieatstars

the final countdown

203 the number of goldfish i ate yesterday while 'studying'
40 the score i dreamed i got on the mcat
33 reasons why i am stressed
28 hours i need in a day to get everything done
17 pairs of shoes i didn't realize i had
16 days until graduate school
15 boxes waiting to be packed
14 days until the mcat
12 days until orientation
11 to-do lists i have made in the last week
8 pm sunday - my scheduled vaty date consisting of desperate housewives and aim
7 hours in the car
6 days until the move
5 hours i have already wasted today via procrastination
4 cups of coffee i will have had before this day is up
3 final exams left
2 weeks until graduation
1 person to get me through this without going crazy
0 energy i currently have to get everything done

memories...

when my brother was younger...

him - "mom i know why the dinosaurs went 'estinked' "
mom - "oh really, why's that?"
him - "because they didn't take baths!"

final exams are not conducive to sleep...

photo by mameladenglasmomente

things i have done in the last 8 hours...

1. opened my physics book...
2. read a paragraph in my physics book
3. left my physics book to make no bake cookies
4. returned to physics book and re-read same paragraph
5. realized it was hot and drained the air conditioning unit that refuses to work for more than a day
6. sat down next to physics book
7. placed physics book in lap...
8. placed laptop in lap on top of open physics book...


let me just sum that up for you: nothing related to physics.

random...

peanuts are not nuts. or peas.

random...

thin mints do not make you thin.
or minted. (thanks, shab)

the bad luck fairy

have you ever met someone with bad luck? i mean the real stuff, not the occasional oh-man-my-cell-phone-dropped-in-the-toilet kind of luck (6 months ago), but the kind of luck that produces superfragilisticexpialidocious stories? Hi, nice to meet you. i used to think i was exaggerating (who me?), but when i reflect on the events that have occurred in my relatively "short" lifetime, i have to conclude... this kind of crazy just doesn't happen to everyone!!

let's just start with one fabulous tale...

imagine... a beautiful summer day, my mother and i were shopping around baton rouge... we had been at it for hours, and i was exhausted. so, i stayed in the car. my mother gave me her infamous "i'll just be 5 minutes," which is actually mom code for 30 to an hour. however, i sat in the car in front of hobby lobby... i was in the fire lane but i wasn't parked, because i was waiting for my mother for "5 minutes"... then i saw a cop patrolling the parking lot, and i thought, "you know with my luck..." so i went and parked the car. as soon as i removed the key i heard a "vroo vrip" - that is a police siren, by the way - and realized that their was a patrol car stopped in front of the car and one behind the car. here i am, thinking.. oh god, this is because of the fire lane? i wasn't even parked... a policeman walks to my door, requests my identification, and asks me to step out of the car, he asks, "what were you doing about 30 minutes ago?"

me: well, i was over shopping on siegen with my mom...
officer: you're going to need to come with me
me: but.. what is this about? can i just tell my mom, she's in the store..?
officer: i don't think so, how about you get in the car..
me, crying as i get into the back of the patrol car: but.. i don't understand...
officer: you weren't at a bank about an hour ago?
me, realizing that this wasn't about the fire lane: no...i told you i...
officer: so why are you crying if you didn't do anything wrong?
me: because this doesn't just happen to people!!
officer: well you're just going to come with me for a bit...

at this point i'm wondering if this policeman was even legit, if i was actually being kidnapped, and wondering why i hadn't gotten my cell phone out of the car...

he gets on his radio and tells them he's picked me up and he is on his way to the bank... he drives me to the bank. when we get to the bank there are more officers and people standing around.

another officer opens my door and says to me, joyfully, "yup, that's her!"
me, crying hysterically, frantic: "no, sir!"
him, showing me a foreign passport: "this yours? you leave something behind when you tried to cash that fake check?"
me, now officially concerned and seeing my new criminal life flash before my eyes: "no, sir! that is not me!"

thankfully, the manager from the bank comes out and says, "oh no officer, that's not her, see this girl is wearing a light pink shirt, the other girl was wearing a darker pink" ...

REALLY? YOU CAN GET PICKED UP AND THROWN IN THE BACK OF A PATROL CAR BECAUSE YOU ARE WEARING A PINK SHIRT? officer #1 took me back to my car and all he says is "the girl had a ponytail like yours and was wearing a pink shirt. uh, sorry" YOU CAN GET PICKED UP AND THROWN IN THE BACK OF A PATROL CAR BECAUSE YOU ARE WEARING A PINK SHIRT AND HAVE YOUR HAIR IN A PONYTAIL?

at this point it has been more than 30 minutes, and i was imagining my mother in horror, shock, beside herself because i am not at the car... on the contrary, she was still in hobby lobby, oblivious that i had ever been gone... i found her in the flower aisle... and when i tell her, with tear-filled eyes, "momma, the police just picked me up," she LAUGHS... ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? apparently i need to stop joking around.

long story shorter, later that day my grandma found out and was so upset that she proceeded to call the police station and tell them how i'm an american citizen, and ask them how can they just pick someone up because they have a brown ponytail and are wearing a pick shirt? she then asked them how many other poor innocent girls wearing pink shirts were picked up.

moral of the story: grandma's are awesome, and don't mix pink shirts with brown ponytails, you may be mistaken for a criminal.

new era, same problem...

It still surprises me when I see how people treat one another with disrespect or hatred... I guess this is due to the fact that I simply was not brought up this way. In fact, there was a time that I was even obliviously unaware that "prejudice" existed.

As cliche as it might sound, I was never raised to see different "races" or "colors"... we are surrounded everyday with variations in hair colors and eye colors, but we don't take a second look because of it - we see that we are clearly different, but we don't draw barriers or define ourselves or others by these physical traits. Growing up, skin color fell along these same lines for me...

However, over the years I have learned that what I once believed to be an inherent trait, humanity, is just not so. That feeling that I have deep within to treat others as I would like to be treated (independent of ethnicity, skin color, religion, etc.) is apparently not a conscious thought that passes through everyone's mind. The motivation to treat everyone encountered with kindness appears to be overshadowed by self-centered actions and an outwardly display of indifference, at the very least.

Can we just relate through our similarities, learn from our diversity, and all be friends?

you don't know what you're missing

probably about #3 on my list of reasons why i miss brazil...

i would like you to meet acai, as nature intended it. please don't mistake this with that purple stuff that is supposed to be a super-miracle-food found in powders, pills, extracts, juices, and frozen fruit pulp at a health store near you... not the same. i don't know what they are trying to sell you, but trust me, that is not acai. this bowl of wonder is reason enough for you to hop on an 8+ hour flight down to brazil... and as an added bonus you can sit on the beaches of rio de janeiro while eating your acai, and samba the night away...

saudades.

things you would see if you looked at my recent bank statement

you can apparently learn a lot about someone just by looking at their receipts...

1. running shoes and not just any running shoes, trail running shoes. i don't see myself running on mountains anytime soon, but this is a direct result of my frugality (they were the least expensive). and the extra 1/4 inch of tread on the sole is greatly appreciated, considering my recent loss of balance in latin dance class... things have gotten progressively worse since we moved on from bolero and started salsa... i find myself unable to stop spinning and consequently hysterical in laughter as i throw off the dance sequence and run over my partners...

2. biostatistics and biochemistry textbooks yuck and yuck. not looking forward to the subjects themselves, but i am looking forward to starting graduate school, which begins in four weeks... two days after graduation.

3. peacock eggs yes, real, hatchable, peafowl eggs. why? because mother's day is around the corner, and this is what my mother has requested. please keep in mind, my parents live on a farm now.

4. shorts because it is HOT and our air conditioning was broken for weeks... thankfully, now fixed. i'm actually a little cold now considering my range of temperature tolerance is extremely limited on both ends of the scale. on the plus side, i can now drink my cardamom tea without sweating.

5. a microphone for my iPod, so i can record lectures. i figure the $3 investment will pay off sometime in the next 5 years of education i have left...

6. a spice rack which I scored for $2.99 at the thrift shop - you can't even buy ONE spice jar for less than a dollar online or in stores. i couldn't be happier, it has been the object of my affection for the last three days. which, for clarification, directly relates to the fact that we are moving in three weeks, so i am nesting... p.s. i washed everything thoroughly.

blog stalking

have you ever noticed the thin line between following someone's blog and being a stalker? i've found myself addictively checking people's blogs recently... some of the blogs are from people i've known well for years, which is not what i'm worried about. no, my concern is with the people i've met once or not at all, and for some reason i can't get enough of their posts... to the point that i read their old posts from a time when i had no idea they existed. yesterday, i stumbled upon this blog and her recent post "carry that weight" just broke my heart. i then proceeded to read the rest of her tabs in their entirety and skim through her old posts... what can i say? i'm curious! but in all seriousness, the other day i was reading an article about how technology has made it so easy to get people's information. simply by having your cell phone on you can be located if you're within a 100 mile radius of a cell phone tower. not to mention, every time you do something online, sign in to any account, use your credit card...etc! this author "went on the run" for a year and dared his readers to find him. apparently he was found like 9 times, and that was with him using pre-paid phones, paying in cash, etc... just something to think about!

in other news, one of my younger sisters and i are obsessed with winning the 2010 HGTV green home. why, you ask? because we didn't win the 2010 HGTV dream home. all our time sending positive energy out into the universe was not enough. it's ok though, my sis and i decided that the chances that we would win a dream home AND the $80 million dollar lottery were slim, so it was probably better that we saved our win for the lottery. however, since we have still not won the lottery, we're refocusing our energies on the green home. don't enter the sweepstakes, it's ours. unless of course you're planning on giving it to us when you win...

speaking of green, you should watch the video i posted...

this.is.amazing

procrastination makes the world go round

as the end of the semester nears i have several things i should be doing instead of this, but it just wouldn't be the end of the semester without my old friend, procrastination. yesterday, as i began procrastinating in my usual way by listing all the things i need to do (which is a tricky form of procrastination since you can almost lead yourself to believe that by making lists you are actually doing something productive), i subsequently moved on from my list of things-to-do-until-the-end-of-the-semester to a list of things-to-do-for-the-next-5-to-6-years-of-my-life... the hyperventilation which followed was to be expected, as i counted away the next half a decade of my life and felt my youth slipping away in front of my eyes... i did, eventually, manage to calm myself down, but only after duly noting the plethora of things i have yet to see, learn, and conquer. in no particular order and definitely not limited to ....

1. travel the world (i have done my fair share, but i would like to point out that i have over 85% of the the world left to see)

2. learn several more languages (reasons behind this yet to come)

3. bungy jump, skydive, paraglide, etc....

4. find the courage to bungy jump, skydive, paraglide, etc...

5. revisit my viola/violin (and hopefully get past my regression to the 6th grade playing level)

6. conquer the guitar

7. dapple with my long lost love, art

8. write a book

9. meet Oprah (even if you don't like her you can't deny her influence on our generation)

10. act in something...

11. learn to like cooked carrots

12. perfect my culinary skills

13. win the lottery

14. find a cure for the major ailments of the world

15. world peace

16. run a marathon in 20 countries

17. go on the 'amazing race' with my little sister

and so on....

as you can see i have a lot on my plate. i would also like to point out a few key things about me...

1. i'm very passionate about what i believe to be justice and equality, and i do not like confrontation because i have this inherent need to please everyone ... which should be noted is a horrible combination and apparently makes me passive aggressive...

2. i have emotional issues with punctuation and capitalization.

i feel that "."s should be carefully placed, otherwise they seem mean and cold. this should explain my reoccurring "...", what appear to be run-on sentences, or overly zealous punctuation (i.e. ??, ?!, !, !!!) also, i find capitalization of letters to be less friendly. this being said, i would like to point out that my mother is an excellent and highly competent english teacher, who i'm sure is flinching at the sight of my post... i would also like to point out that i will not take any true offense by your choice of punctuation or capitalization, and that i do capitalize and 'punctuate' when need be :)

3. i hopelessly believe in the good in people and always feel the need to show the other side of a situation or argument, even if it isn't necessarily my point of view... i just can't let it go... i have to make sure everyone sees the whole picture. i'm pretty sure it's a serious problem. and yes, i know it can be annoying... i promise i'm working on it.